Saturday, April 04, 2009
I again have been slacking in the Blog Life... and I'm sorry...
I've had a few things on my mind lately.. and bottom line is.. I've been pouting about a few things.
For the past six months I've been excited about a Journey I BELIEVED I would go on.. and take... I've been planning life around what I thought would be the perfect plan.. MY plan... always thinking that it was HIS plan as well.. I mean I planned the last six months on an 18 year wait.
This week I've come to face the fact that the past six months of planning has become useless.
I feel defeated
I feel embarrassed
I feel hopeless at some points
I know that MY God has NOT forsaken me... but.... I still wonder what HE has planned for me.
I don't know which direction to even go
I don't like having control of things..
It makes me MAD...
This is the human side of me coming out... I hate failure.. HATE IT! Even though some would say it's not failure.. it's just another turn in my "journey"... I have to wait to recognize this.
So there's my babble for the day..
What can I bring to this blog that is joyous?? Let me dig through my pictures to find something!
I took photos of the insert of what I believe were BHG magazine. I "won" a wicker set from freecycle last summer.. but towards the end of summer .. so I didn't do anything with them.. now that summer is approaching I can take them out of storage.. scrub them up and paint them.. and I found a couple pictures to "copy" and give me ideas...
I'm NOT an orange fan.. but I like the idea of the room and I do like the style of the cushions.. My MIL doesn't know it yet.. but she's going to be sewing with me for cushions for the wicker set!
I have an enclosed porch.. sometimes I like that.. and other times I like pictures like these..I wish the sun was out all the time.. and we could just sit out here drinking lemonade and reading books...
And here's another picture that I love.. my kids when they were around 6 and 1... They are still this close and this happy even though they are 18 and 13... I hope it continues on... for the rest of their lives!!
So what are some things that are making you happy lately?